The two secret service men stood silently at attention outside the door.They knew they must never enter when he was inside there, and that even during the gravest emergency they should merely knock and wait for him to emerge, something that could take up to fifteen minutes. Loyalservants of the Commander in Chief, they never discussed the weird noisesand shrill squeals they heard from behind the door during these dailysessions, not even to speculate between themselves about what went on inthere.Inside the sumptious Nixon Bathroom, larger than most D.C. apartments,President George Walker Bush had donned his pink tutu, his Miss Piggymask and his Farrah Faucett wig. He spoke in a regal, constrictedfalsetto, "Helleeew, yes! I am Princess of thee entire Ew-nee-verse, anda pretty, pretty peeg am I! Oh my!"On tiptoes he fluttered gracefully across the room, his wrists crossed above his head, enamored of the reflections he saw in the room's many tall mirrors. The pig face, the tutu,. .. her magnificent mane of auburn hair cascaded around her shoulders and tumbled to her butt.'Oh yes, I like this young peasant ... proper respect.' He grinned, 'Nice butt.'"Thank you," he said, 'Daddy always said, "Be nice to the hired help, they know all the secrets."'She asked the Secret Service man his name and ID. She wrote it down on her pad."What's that for?" he whispered.She whispered back, "you're outta here. His Excellency doesn't like you. No respect." She wrote 'Call me' on the pad. Naturally, the SS knew her number ... probably tapped her line too."Are you sure you can't bring the globe," 'what ever that is' "in here?" Actually, your Excellency, this is the press conference room." Not my throne room?" No, your Excellency. I suppose we could make it so. The press could meet you somewhere else." Why would I meet the press? They're all a bunch of pinko commies ... rabble rousers, every one of them ought to be taken out and shot!"'How did this idiot get elected?'Just then, a.
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